Science of Relationships

The goal of this special section is to explore how contemplative traditions might work together with the science of relationships to build a more compassionate society. Read the introduction by curator Jessica Stern below.

Illustration of person falling

Taking Refuge in the Family of Things

—Exploring the Nature of Attachment— To take refuge is to return home. Children come into this world needing to take refuge. All children. To be born onto this plane of existence is to experience the vulnerability of being a stranger in a strange land. Hence, during the first years of a child’s life, the primary context in which he or she can take refuge will be that of the child’s primary caregivers…. [B]ecause our first experience of need and of sangha is in our contact with our first caregivers, the quality of this connection will affect our every future perception of relationship, as well as our perception of the world as good or bad, safe or threatening. If enlightenment is indeed a capacity to experience the inherent intimacy of all things, then it becomes useful to discover how our earliest relationships either enhance or block this intimacy. —Download full article below— —Read Jessica Stern’s introduction to the special section here— Download Article PDF: Taking Refuge in the Family of Things Illustration by Alicia Brown

Leveraging the Science of Relationships to Build a Compassionate Society

—An Introduction to the Special Section— Beginning with the relationship between mother and child, the dynamic between two individuals is the source of secret and invisible power. Even though relationships between parents and children, or between romantic partners, can become confused, nonetheless the lineage of humanity stems from this caring feeling, the radiant hum of life… Good human society comes about through strength in our interchanges with others. Sakyong Mipham1 When my cousin was born, my grandmother sewed for her a yellow blanket. It was beautiful not because of its individual threads, but because of the connections between them; moreover, it was beautiful because my grandmother—who spent much of her early life in an orphanage with no such blanket—had made it, in spite of the threads of her history. Though my grandmother was not often a source of warmth or comfort for her own children, she was able to stitch together a blanket that could be just that for her grandchild. The strength and goodness of society, likewise, comes not solely from its individual members …